Family Ties

Randy Hicks, President of Georgia Family Council
July 29, 2011

In recent years, there has been a rise in multi-generational households. Simply put, the average grandma and grandpa is more likely to be living with their adult children today than they were a generation ago.

Over a century ago, more than half of adult over the age of 65 lived with their extended family. In 1940, nearly one-in-four older adults lived in multi-generational homes. It steadily decreased to a low of 12 percent in the 1980s. Today it has increased to an estimated 16 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

Why the increase? The Pew study attributes the upswing, in part, to the sluggish economy. With heavy job losses and home foreclosures, many family members are coping by consolidating and moving in with each other. All in all, even if driven to some degree by hardship and necessity, this may be a good trend. And given the shaky financial ground underneath government programs designed to assist senior citizens, it may be a trend that continues to grow.

For some, the financial upside may be obvious. Multi-generational households are able to lower the combined expenses of mortgages or rent and sell off some possessions (e.g. a house, furnishings, etc.) in order to generate cash for saving or living expenses.

But there are other potential non-financial benefits that accrue to a family that welcomes grandparents as live-in residents. Grandparents can bring additional wisdom and life experience that can benefit parents and children. They can help grandkids connect with family history and heritage and help them gain a healthier perspective about the length and breadth of life.

Other practical benefits include the sharing of burdens. For example, the middle generation can take the older generation to doctors’ appointments while the older generation – depending on their health – can often assist in daily chores and childcare.

But make no mistake about it – whether or not this is a good idea depends upon a lot of factors, not the least of which may be the kind of relationship parents have with grandparents. If it’s turbulent, having grandparents move in may be a bad idea. Moreover, while for many the pragmatic benefits of having other adults in the household may be attractive, the addition of a grandparent or two without any assets could significantly add to financial pressures if such pressures already exist. And for some, the health of the elderly member may be beyond what they can adequately care for at home.

However, sometimes taking in a grandparent isn’t a matter of pragmatism or benefit; it might simply be the right thing to do. We have a moral obligation to love and care for our family members, even though, at times, it might be quite difficult. Unfortunately, I fear that the typical American has grown more comfortable over recent generations with allowing others to shoulder more of this burden, even when we could handle it ourselves.

And frankly, one of the reasons elderly people have been more capable of living independent of other family members is governmental social programs such as Medicare and Social Security. But cuts to Medicare and the uncertain future of Social Security have increased the incentives for the elderly to live with grown children. Grandparents may need, instead of merely want, to move in with family; and with the Baby Boomers hitting retirement, there is no guarantee that the government will be able to support the elderly as it has in the past.

For those of you who may be in a situation like that of my wife and me (our parents are healthy and independent), there’s still a way of tapping into the benefits grandparents can bring to our families. Calling often, visiting when we can, allowing grandparents to have time alone with our children and seeking their input may all serve to enrich your life and the lives of your children.

And who knows? Given the growing trend toward multi-generational homes, all those activities may set you up nicely for the time when your children have to decide whether to take you into their home.